To the friends, family, and teachers that interact with our kids in big and small ways,
I have not found the words, and Lord knows I have tried, to explain the nuance of parenting a kid with trauma. It seems dramatic to say that it is hard, but it is. It seems obvious to say that it is messy, but it is. It sounds cliche to say that it is different, but it is. Parenting kids from trauma requires that, just like all parents, we correct behaviors and instill good habits in our kids. However, we are correcting behaviors and instilling good habits while also helping to heal wounds that we cannot see or understand. We have to prioritize their healing and I know that looks a little different sometimes.
As foster and adoptive parents, our kids come to us carrying the weight of the things they have experienced. Sometimes they can articulate some of what they went through and other times they are not quite sure why things upset them. It is our responsibility, and our joy, to be their partner and their advocate in the healing process. We do our best to create spaces in which they are able to heal. We don’t always get it right. We are not perfect at this.
If something about our kids’ actions is upsetting, or confusing, or overwhelming, or just plain strange, know that we see it too and we are trying- us and them. Ask us the questions, spend time with our family, research and learn, but most importantly- speak love and light into our lives and the lives of our children. The support you guys give us is more important than you can know.
Learning and loving my babes,